I need

Serenity. No, not the really awesome ship from the spinoff movie for the canceled show "Firefly". Like genuine, real serenity.

You could call it calmness, but I rather say tranquility. My mind works at 100 miles per hour, but not in a good way. I need a slow down. Someone needs to hit me. In the face, preferably(it's all personal preference). I think that fist sized mark with a ring indention on it might do it.

It's a terrible notion, wanting serenity. If I were to be honest, and as emotionally feminine as a male can be at my age, my spirit is waning. That is, my will to do. Or don't. I just want a slow down. Everything is so mentally and spiritually taxing. It's hard to take. And it's not like I have to weather a storm and everything will be okay. It's more like the rain clouds have been holding back, storing up as much as they could and finally striking with an outburst of shades of grey.

Anyway, that's enough of emotional theatre for tonight. Probably more tomorrow.