How to dodge the draft

This post might be a bit illegal. Scratch that. This post is going to be sickwicked(I just channeled the 90's).

1. Have flat feet. Or, preferably, make yourself have flat feet. It's an incredibly painful process, but it's better than vietnam.
2. Be flamboyant during the interview. You know what I'm getting at. Recruiters hate flower patterns and the color pink.
3. Act like an idiot. Walk in with guns ablazing. Not shooting anyone, of course. I mean literally, set a gun on fire. They won't want somebody who knows the melting temperature of steel running around next to soldiers.
4. Demand a recount. Trust me. It worked for Gore, it can work for you. The only reason Gore didn't win that election were his girlish looks and clammy hands.
5. Run to Mexico. And I literally mean run. Hopefully, in some sort of Gumpesque turn of events, a news team will follow you and the military will have some mercy.

That's all I have, really. Hopefully the draft never comes, because you probably won't make it away from it. Seriously.