Josh at AUM

Fin.

2009-12-06T19:59:00.001-08:00

This my last post in this blog. I want this last one to be a good one. This is just a list of things I've been thinking about lately.

1. Understand that there aren't a lot of people who've got your back. Your family, maybe a few friends(maybe). Be able to deal with that. Always have a plan.

2. Screw optimism or pessimism. Adopt realism. It's not hard to deduct what's going to happen if you use your head.

3. Get rid of emotional residue. Right now. TODAY. Everybody has some. Get rid of the leftovers, unless you enjoy complacency. Give up the old, bring in the new.

4. Have compassion, if you can. It's not something everyone can do. If you have the gift, USE IT.

5. The truest things I know to do are these: Love God, and love others. Everything else will fall into place. Don't lose yourself in between their. Once you stop loving people, it's hard to start again. Love always. Be joyful always.

Because, frankly, the rest is just commentary.

This place

2009-12-06T19:55:00.001-08:00

Is giving me trouble. I want out of Montgomery so badly. This place is a pariah of culture. We're unfixable. All we have are like six gas stations and a Wal-mart that is the breeding place of the underpaid.

I've got myself in a bad place. Luckily, though, time is on my side. I still have a chance. But if I don't leave soon, I won't. I can't even make ripples here when I want to be out making waves. This place has taught me nothing. I learn not. It's not even comfortable. The weather is my bane.

I kind of hate it. All the churches are the same, and all I do is church. That's it. Just church. And college, occasionally. But forget that. I could go anywhere else for all of this junk and get some culture while I'm at it. Some learning. I need exposure!

I want exposure. I want different air. I need different air.

I'm starting to feel

2009-12-06T17:02:00.000-08:00

that I'm doing too many filler posts for the end of this. Don't worry, the last one will be a good one.

Anyway, Brett Favre is a man. Have you seen what he has done this season? It's ridiculous. He's like 59 years old and he's beating all these juiced-up 22 year-old thugs like no man's business. He knows what he's doing, apparently. It's awesome. And manly, very manly.

The Vikings are actually having a good season this year. It's a gigantic surprise. Last year we had Tarvaris at quarterback, which wasn't a good idea. At all. We had a killer offense except for him. But Brett Favre has come in and really picked our team up from being in the dumps.

He's also good for Brad Childresses job. Childress was getting boo'd every game and had people yelling in the crowd for him to be fired. Good thing they didn't this year. 10-1? I didn't think I would ever see that in association to the Vikings in anyway.

Anyway, I'm going to end this post now in fear of sounding too much like John Madden.

2009-12-06T12:45:00.000-08:00

So my thoughts today: Running away is never as fun as it sounds. At first you're all like "YEAH! I can live with vagabonds and eat from dumpsters! The world is my toilet and nothing can stop me. I have a CAN DO attitude, how can I be stopped?" Then you get on the road and you have to live with vagabonds. You have to eat from dumpsters and relieve yourself outside. Your CAN DO attitude was crippled by the sheer weight of being homeless.

Sure, you can live under that bridge with that guy wearing the poncho that calls himself "Security", but are you really happy? I know it, you know it, Security knows it. You aren't. Drinking from a boot is not happiness and it never will be the definition of happiness.

Next thing you know, you're stealing carts from the local Wal-Mart to placate Leon, the local Hobo king. Do you want that? I don't think so.

I have to say, though, that drinking from a boot is not happiness might be the story of my life. Just sayin'.

Let me tell you something.

2009-12-06T10:48:00.000-08:00

Facebook is for chumps. What was that? Me breaking the rules of societal norms? Here me out.

The first thing you always see when you log onto facebook is some guy talking about how his mom had to take the dog to the groomer or some junk. And then below that is 58 posts about Farm Town, and then some ripoff of farm town called Aquarium-God-Knows-What.

Facebook is effectively making a chump out of all of us. And farmtown is taking all of our money on those credit card deals that look legit but apparently or not(or so says my credit statement, dangit.) People just post crap all day about whatever. I HATE whatever.

So how do we fix this? Bomb facebook from outerspace. I know that sounds a little bit much, but hear me out. Then we don't have to address the real problems like adults and we can move on with our lives? Doesn't that sound nice? Moving on with our lives? I wanna do that. So the plan is, blow up facebook, and then get a nice cup of tea and watch "It's a Wonderful Life" on AMC. Deal?

I like

2009-12-06T10:39:00.000-08:00

This verse.

^"23One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grainfields, and as his disciples walked along, they began to pick some heads of grain. ²⁴The Pharisees said to him, "Look, why are they doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?"

²⁵He answered, "Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry and in need? ²⁶In the days of Abiathar the high priest, he entered the house of God and ate the consecrated bread, which is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions."

²⁷Then he said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. ²⁸So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath"

I'm going to take a little while to narrate what's going on here, in simple and modern terms.

So Jesus is out on the field, and his disciples are all like "Man, I'm hungry, man." And the Pharisees, cause you know they are haters, came up and were all like "Man, you can't have the munchies on the sabbath, man. You're breaking all sorts of tariff laws."

But Jesus ain't a fool. So he gets out there and says "Yo, haven't you heard that my boy(and ancestor) David ate the bread that only priests can eat." And then he was all like "So don't be hating when a man wants a sammich or six, aight? We ain't no chumps. Saturday was made us for us, mayne."

And that's pretty much my extent of cool lingo. I hope I made my point as distinctly as I possibly could, because it's not gonna get any better than that.

Hmm

2009-12-06T10:30:00.000-08:00

Only 6 away from the big 70. Interesting.

Well, right now, I've pretty much run out of things to talk about, so I'm just going to pull up a random page on wikipedia and talk about that.

Well, it seems I got frogger. Frogger was freaking hard. What the heck was that frog doing on a highway as busy as that anyway? He knew what he was getting himself into. I remember distinctly getting to the last log every single time and getting destroyed because it moves way too fast. And darn those turtles. I hate them, with literally ever thing that my heart can avow upon them.

This actually brings back a lot of memories. I'm gonna go play a game of digdug and come back to this post. HOLY GOD. This game is violent. I just literally pumped a dragon full of air and popped him like the Hindenburg. How on earth did that get past a board of reviewers? Note to self: DON'T LET KIDS DIGDUG.

Snuggies

2009-12-02T14:36:00.000-08:00

You know what I've decided? The inventors of Snuggies are geniuses(geniusi?). Why do I say this? I will tell you, ol' chap.

First of all, somehow, they have managed to market a robe that you turn inside out, and sell it for 20 dollars. Successfully. If that isn't amazing I don't know what is. Also, the marketing techniques they have used are ridiculous. "You can work and it will keep you warm!" I'm entirely certain that isn't true. Have you ever tried to parse a line of code in an obese man's Oxford? The Snuggie follows the same rules that fat people clothes follow. You don't want to wear them, ever, but people will still buy them.

Also, I'm fairly certain that snuggies make you invincible. Have you ever seen anyone die in a Snuggie? I don't think so. Point proven right there. Want me to prove it more(no.)? I'm pretty sure Superman's cape is a snuggie with the sleeves cut off, and he is easily the most invincible substance next to Teflon and a New Orleans phone book pre-Katrina.

As I was trying to say, they will soon take over the world, so be ready to be consistently warm in a nice environment for 20 dollars.

Getting out

2009-12-01T19:52:00.001-08:00

The first semester is finally winding down, and it's kind of interesting to watch as it happens. I noticed that less and less people are coming to class. Not sure why.

I wish I had the money to keep going to school for the next semester. I kind of like college. Don't get me wrong, it stresses me out to an amazing extent. But I need to learn to do work. I never did work in high school. I could finish my homework in class everyday or get away with not doing it, and it's good to be forced to do something you don't want to, because at least you learn how to do it.

I like growing up. I'm only 17, so I've kind of been throw into this whole thing at a younger age than most. It's kind of forceful. I didn't really have a choice, but I knew that I had to get myself together and do it, or I was going to fail miserably. Which would have been bad.

I think I'm fairly pleased with myself this year. I've gotten a lot done. I learned a whole bunch of math that I should have learned a LONG time ago. I didn't even know I could do math.

Half-life

2009-11-30T07:40:00.000-08:00

Despite the fact that our teacher said not to write about Half-life(in a half-joking manner), I'm going to do it anyway because I've been enjoying it lately.

Half-life has the craziest storyline I've ever seen. It's really hard to follow, actually. Half the time I have no idea what's going on, despite the fact that I am DESTROYING some fertile alien breeds. You start out into a tram, which slowly transitions into you pushing an artifact into some sort of flux capacitating machine and it blowing up all over the place, throwing intergalactic beast-things to our dimension, and causing the need for Gordon Freeman to do his world saving business.

I didn't mention it but, Gordon Freeman is a MAN. You have no idea. He doesn't even talk. He doesn't have to. He uses a crowbar to destroy an entire colony of devil creatures without breaking a sweat, all while making sure they don't burrow into the earth and destroy everything as we know it. On one particular occasion, he uses a test fire for a missile to destroy this monster who is tossing people around in this circular silo thing. He messed that thing up. And probably killed a few people. But the point still stands. Gordon Freeman could rip your face off without a problem. Or with any bit of shame.

Or that's what the G-Man says.

Argument.

2009-11-30T07:33:00.001-08:00

Argument: Meh. Too many of these go on everywhere I go. Church, school, home. I hate it. I'm sick of fighting with everyone about every little thing. Can't we all just get along? I know that phrase has literally worn to it's inevitable death, but come on. It's not that hard. We can have differences. In fact, we're supposed to! So let's have them.

Abortion, cloning, same-sex marriage. We have to accept the fact that we all our going to believe different things on different subjects. We're probably not going to convince the other party that we are arguing against that they are wrong. This probably goes to a completely different subject but, it's hard for people to be wrong, and arguing isn't accomplishing anything at all.

Everyone needs to step back, take a breather, and cool it. Understand that people have their own beliefs, their own systems, their own mental routine, and be okay with that. Arguing tears everyone down. We need to be, in simple hippy-like terms, cool with each other, man. Arguing isn't adding any days to our life or any inches to our height.

I hate

2009-11-29T14:55:00.000-08:00

Math. So. Freaking. Much.

I'm actually doing it right now as we speak. Matrices, linear equations, all that chump stuff that they make me do every single week. For no good reason, might I mention. It's stressing me out, especially when I can't figure out what to do. I might have to go back in time, find the guy who invented algebra, and knock him physically and emotionally unconscious. Like really unconscious.

It would be beautiful, believe me. It wouldn't be one of those wimpy punches. This would be full on 160 pounds of pain coming down on some guy from 34 AD. He wouldn't see it coming. All that using his head to carry bricks around is seriously impairing his ability to see.

Math. Keep your kids from it. Teach them something more useful in life, like the forbidden dance, or why we should repeal women's suffrage. Please? Don't make them go through what I've had to. I can guarantee it will be the worst time of their life.

It is possible

2009-11-29T06:16:00.000-08:00

that Google is sentient.

Why do I think that? Well, for one, Google knows almost everything. Hey, Google, what's the average heartbeat of the Lyre bird? 245 BPM. See? That's how these things work. It also has the entire catalog of Wikipedia on it, so it probably could tell you anything you wanted to know about pop culture.

Google's servers are also spanning across the nation. They are slowly taking ground! Soon it will reach Maine, and then Canada, and then the entire continental United States! Also, Google has contracted some of the smartest people in the world to work there. He's using our intelligence!(or, she is. Scary.) What do we do about that? I'm not even sure! One thing I do know, though, is that we can't just sit here and take it. Google is going to overrun us. Badly. We have to fight back.

I must admit, it's really early. Which is bad. Which also made me write this. Which, in turn, ended up being really bad. Yea. It kinda worked out that way. Not my fault. Except for. Sort of. Yea.

You know....

2009-11-27T19:00:00.000-08:00

I'm not saying that the Mona Lisa isn't a good painting, I'm just saying that she isn't very hot. I mean, honestly, have you seen her? Her nose is gigantic. That's a beak if I've seen it.

What was Da Vinci thinking? She has the jawline of tiger shark. It's awful. And what on earth is she wearing? I think she hates everything I love. Look at her face. She's looking for a fight, and I know it. You know what? Bring it, Mona. Your last name is a first name as far as I'm concerned.

I bet you her father was a bearded man. That's where she got the genetics from for her own beard. Now, you might be thinking that the Mona Lisa is a "timeless piece of art" or a "shining example of 16th century art", but you would be wrong. Why? Because Da Vinci couldn't even find an attractive woman to paint. That should tell you about the state of Italy at the time. And the fact that Da Vinci was lazy. Move to France, genius. There has to be good looking women there. Or a capabarra or something you could paint.

But I digress.

I need

2009-11-22T21:08:00.000-08:00

Serenity. No, not the really awesome ship from the spinoff movie for the canceled show "Firefly". Like genuine, real serenity.

You could call it calmness, but I rather say tranquility. My mind works at 100 miles per hour, but not in a good way. I need a slow down. Someone needs to hit me. In the face, preferably(it's all personal preference). I think that fist sized mark with a ring indention on it might do it.

It's a terrible notion, wanting serenity. If I were to be honest, and as emotionally feminine as a male can be at my age, my spirit is waning. That is, my will to do. Or don't. I just want a slow down. Everything is so mentally and spiritually taxing. It's hard to take. And it's not like I have to weather a storm and everything will be okay. It's more like the rain clouds have been holding back, storing up as much as they could and finally striking with an outburst of shades of grey.

Anyway, that's enough of emotional theatre for tonight. Probably more tomorrow.

I have a feeling

2009-11-22T21:01:00.000-08:00

That when I look back on all these posts, to see what I've said, or just because I'm bored, that I'm going to be a bit surprised.

Or just even more bored. I've never found myself to be quite interesting. I don't even do anything interesting. I sit a lot. People who aren't interesting sit. A lot. It's the nature of the situation. It's my own fault, though. I never get out. Explore. Do..things. You know, things? Like, stuff. Or take a moment to stop thinking.

People who think a lot aren't interesting, unfortunately, and I think through every thing I do, most everyday. It's not pleasant. What's the opposite of pleasant? Lets go with mindcrippling. Yea, that's a good one. My mind is crippled. That sounds dastardly. I like it. But, unfortunately, no one cares. The words here, and the words I leave elsewhere, will, frankly, be lost. Yes, that sounds emo. Dismally, emo is sometimes truth. That's a gross under-exaggeration. Emo is always truth, just the wrong truth, if that makes any sense.

If it does, good for you, because I've no idea what it means.

Before we start,

2009-11-22T20:46:00.000-08:00

A note: This post has absolutely no meaning. I've had nothing to do today, quite literally, except for a trip to Wal-Mart with my mom. We can talk about my booming social life later, though. Be aware that I've been at my computer for over 12 hours now. Also, take into account that I don't remember most of what I've been doing that entire time.

I really need to get out. Badly. BADLY. I've nothing to do, no friends to hang out with, and crippling self-esteem issues(that's a different story, unfortunately). I've been here too long. At home. Playing the same mental games with myself. Trying to learn the Charlie Brown Christmas song. Succeeding at learning the Charlie Brown Christmas song. Generally not succeeding with women. Practically choosing not to. Coming to terms with being alone.

I've been slowly losing a mental battle today. I think my only triumph will be my head touching the pillow tonight. A slow, uniform victory. One for the ages. Or just for today.

Birthdays

2009-11-18T07:42:00.000-08:00

A lot of my friends have birthdays in November. It's got me thinking. No one should care about anyone's birthday unless they are under 11. Seriously. 11 is a chumps birthday.

I mean, you can bake them a cake or whatever. But nothing special. I'm not giving my kid a party on his 11th. He can have a toy car and half a cake I found at the grocery store. Heck, he's not going to get a birthday until he's 18. Yes, I skipped 16 on purpose. He can drive. So can everyone else. Get over yourself.

At 18, though, awesome birthday party. As Patton Oswalt put it, you should buy a gun and then shoot a hole through a ballot. On top of that, you can have whatever you want on that day. You want a clown bursting out of a cake wearing Wolverine claws? You can have it. A caricature of John Kerry? You can have it. A passionate prologue to the ever-famous Jane Austen series Pride and Prejudice? You can have it.

Whatever you want. You can have it.

Right now

2009-11-18T07:33:00.001-08:00

I think I have given up on this whole relationship thing. I just don't feel like it. It's not worth the hassle, nor the phone calls, and the dabbling in the art of body language interpretation.

The sad thing is, though, I think that now that I've pretty much come to terms with being alone, that I will end up finding someone. That's the nature of the world, man(hippy speak). Fate likes to mess with us. Fate is all like "Hey, you got a pair of new white pristine shoes? Well now there's a mudslide coming your way, about feet level. Sorry." Fate is kind of a jerk that way. Just when you get comfortable, Fate taps you on the shoulder and says "Nope." Self-righteous bigot.

But hasn't always been the world's nature to go against us? When we don't need war, there is war. And where there are poor, and homeless, flood waters rise.

I mean, just look at the Great Famine in Ireland. When they needed potatoes, no potatoes. That's Fate. Fate is a cruel mistress. Unless it's a he. Then Fate is a cruel mister. Which is a completely different story.

Thanksgiving Tradition

2009-11-18T07:27:00.000-08:00

I always kind of laugh at everyone's Thanksgiving traditions. Not that they are ridiculous or anything, but because my family does nothing like any of them do for Thanksgiving. In fact, I'm fairly certain my mothers entire goal is to fatten us on Thanksgiving. Delicious fattening, though.

Typically, my dad will pull a TV outside and watch the Thanksgiving day football games while he fries the turkey, and we all wait impatiently inside. Take note that we are all literally filled with food at this point, mainly because my mom will have made her homemade cinnamon rolls, to which will gorge ourselves while enjoying the slow transition into mediocrity that the Macy's day parade has taken.

I always laugh, though, because we don't sit around a table like most do. Typically, we'll just sit in the living room and eat, watching some awful rerun of some less-than-average show. And the funny thing is, we love it. A lot. That's the way our family interacts, and I don't think we would have it any other way.

Sentience

2009-11-16T08:06:00.001-08:00

Dude, what are we going to do if computers figure out they're alive?

You know what we're going to do? Be screwed, that's what.

Computers are entirely too smart right now. I say we start dumbing them down. A lot. You know, go back to the computers that were a football field in size. We can go back to abacuses(abacusi? who knows). I don't mind counting on my fingers. And honestly, who doesn't love a good typewriter?

Basically, what I'm asking for(and it's not a lot to ask for, not to mention), is that we completely revert what we have technologically right now to the simple life. All I want our pilgrims running around, milking cows the old way, churning butter like a man would.

Is that so much to ask? All I don't want to do is be ripped in twain at the hands of some robot fiend.

Zombies!

2009-11-16T07:55:00.000-08:00

I really hope that a zombie invasion happens. Not a lot of people can say that, but the opportunity of ever-present danger is so enticing it makes my head spin. I want to go around shooting stuff, making forts in old school buildings, and axing zombies like no man's business.

The cool thing about zombies are that there are so many of them, and that there is no shame in killing them. Always remember, zombies aren't people,they're zombies. Killing zombies is the name of the game, friend.

One of my friends has a particular awesome sword collection. I think that would be one of our main ports for supply. We'd be running around, cleaving zombies, stopping for a nice cup of tea here and there. I'm a crossbow man myself. The world's third most deadly killer, next to the French mantelpiece and carbon monoxide. Zombies can't tell where a crossbow came from, because they can't hear it, or smell it.

We'd need a good place to hole up, too. I thought about my old school. We'd steal as much food as we could from the kitchen, and then we would go to the upper school building. We would then proceed to break down the stairs because, as everyone knows, zombies can't climb. They simply don't have the coordination to do it. It's not there fault, though. They're zombies.

I'd be so pumped if I got this opportunity. I think I might cry a bit, actually. Happy tears, though. Happy tears are good.

What I'd save

2009-11-16T07:46:00.000-08:00

For some reason, I have a strange feeling that I would go insane if all this world ending stuff happened. Apparently, in this scenario, I'm the person who gets to decide what we keep, and what we don't.

Well, as certifiably crazy person in this time, I'd probably bring things that nobody needs. Not to mention I'd probably bring only like six people. And they'd be wondering why I stocked the entire boat with grandfather clocks and a collection of Led Zeppelin's greatest hits. I'd bring some food, but only refried beans. Which is all like "Yay, food!". Until you realize that if you have to choose between starving and refried beans, people will pick starving nine out of nine times.

I fear what I will be like when the world ends. If the world does end, though, I hope it is zombies. Actually, I think my next post is going to be about zombies. Because I love me some brain-eating, vomit-inducing, dead-walking entities of evil all boxed up in the bodies of those who were formerly living.

This whole evolution argument

2009-11-16T07:39:00.000-08:00

So, were we or were we not evolved from some lesser life forms? Or did some almighty being intelligently design us 6000 years ago? Or a billion years ago. Your choice, really.

Here's what I say: it really doesn't matter how we were made. We too often get worked up about the little things. Gay marriage? Yea, not that big of a deal in comparison to the fact that people are starving all over the world or that people are dying every day from AIDS in Africa.

Messed up stuff.

I propose this: Let's not get worked up about things that don't matter. How about we worry about things that are important now, such as, you know, keeping people alive? The science money we're putting into trying to find out whether evolution or creation is right could be used for saving kids in some other country. I'd like that.

God

2009-11-16T07:33:00.001-08:00

I was thinking about God a little bit. I began thinking mainly about how God got the job that he did, which led me to thinking about what if God had to be interviewed before he got the job? How would that interview process go?

"So, how are you on the all-powerful thing?" How would you even answer that question? "Um, pretty good I guess." "What are your most proficient abilities?" "Well, I can do anything." "Can you be a little more specific?" "Actually, no."

Meh, I don't know how He got here, but good for him. He obviously did something right, you know, creating the earth and all(or however he did it; I really don't know nor do I really care, it pretty much doesn't matter). God's pretty cool in the sense that he just got bored and started making stuff. Not to mention with the heart of a child. It's pretty cool to see someone who created me create me with a heart of pure joy. Makes me happy.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-11T08:22:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is a beautiful holiday in it's simplicity. 'Be thankful'. That's awesome! Think about how easy a holiday that thanksgiving is. All you have to do is remember what you got, and how what you have helps you cope with what you don't.

I think thanksgiving is awesome to because it makes way for Christmas. I adore Christmas.

Turkey probably helps, too. And it is one of the few times of the year that all four of my family can sit down, relax, and enjoy each other. Nobody cares about working, or school. We are just happy to be with each other. We're happy to have people that care about us, which I know many people envy. It's a gift to me.

I enjoy thanksgiving a lot. It's simple! I like simple. Simple makes me happy, because, frankly, I'm a thinker, and simple things help me shut my brain up for a little while. I need that occasionally. It's good to turn my brain off autopilot or thinkmode or whatever you want to call it.

I think that

2009-11-11T08:13:00.000-08:00

We are making progress. 'We' being my groups of friends, and progress in reference to us spiritually. It's pretty much unanimous that we don't like church that much. And, on top of that, we all pretty much agree that the normal format of church bothers us.

I think it has something to do with equality. I'm sick of being talked down to. At my age, I'm beginning to feel like I'm a spiritual and mental equal with the people who are preaching to me. That may sound conceited, but that's not my intention. It has come to the point where I'm used to hearing the same sermon over, and over, and over.

It's like hearing somebody tell you that fish breathe with water. And then again. And again. Not only have I heard it a hundred times, but I already know what it means and I already know that it has no substance. Nothing for me to get. Nothing to help me establish a new way of life, or a new way to love people like I should be. I'm sick of hearing the "Go out and save people, chump!" sermon that goes on every week. "You gotta be preaching!" Honestly, nobody wants to be preached to or condemned.

I chock it all up to two things: Love God and love others. That's all I know, and frankly, all I care to know.

Thankful

2009-11-11T07:26:00.001-08:00

I'm thankful for being alive. I think about that sometimes. Being alive is really hard to do. There's all of these chemical processes that if one stopped, I would be dead. Which would be terrible. Actually, technically it wouldn't be terrible for me, because I would be dead. I'm not sure if I will be able to discern terrible from not terrible when I'm dead. But who knows.

Anyway, stuff I'm thankful for. Yesterday my mom bought one of those wolf shirts that was made into an internet joke. That was pretty cool. I think she is trying to give me a hint. My best guess is that she wants grand kids. With the wolf shirt, who knows.

I have a good family. I don't fight my brother. Ever. Which I hear is rare. I had no idea that it was rare, until someone told me they fought with their brother all the time. My dad is reasonable. That doesn't sound like a compliment, but it is. He is very logical. My mom is loving, and willing to give. I don't really have any family problems, which is a number that I hear is rising. That makes me sad, and much more thankful for what I have.

That's not all I have to be thankful for, but this early in the morning it's all I can choose to remember. Thanks.

An evaluation of church

2009-11-09T07:45:00.000-08:00

This has been on my mind a lot lately, so I guess it will make for a good thing to talk about.

I kind of hate church. Is that bad? I'm a Christian, but church really bothers me. It's the same thing every week. There's no reason to grow. At all. None. We can't change without motion. Obviously there is something wrong if we're not moving in a direction.

That's kind of what I want. I want to move in some direction. I don't care which one it is. I'm so sick of the routine that we put ourselves in. Worship first, then offering, then a sermon. And it's the same sermon I've heard every day for all of my life. I hate that. Give me something new, dang it. I need the nurturing. I've been growing in reverse for entirely too long now. I don't say shrinking, because that isn't the word. I've been moving away, slowly but surely.

I don't want that. And it spiritually taxes me. A lot. It's hard to handle. I need a change of pace. I'm sick of taking and no giving during sermons. I want to be able to comment when I've heard something that I think is wrong. And that bothers me a bit. That's not how it's supposed to be.

I don't know. I guess I might be worrying about it a bit too much. I probably should calm down. But it's complicated.

Dreams.

2009-11-09T07:39:00.001-08:00

Dreams are strange beings. Half of the time I have no idea why I have them. They, for the most part, seem pointless.

Sometimes, though, I think they're trying to teach me something. I had a dream that someone had moved my dining room table into my kitchen. There's something you have to understand about my kitchen. It's easier for a rich man to go to heaven than it is to get through there. And someone put an entire dining room table in there. At this point, a group of people settles down for dinner. Someone starts talking about horses. Another friend then comments that he can't talk about horses because of his religion. That confused me a bit. Why on earth couldn't he talk about horses? He said, and I quote "Because my religion states they don't exist". While that is one of the most ludicrous things I've ever heard, it's also not that bad of an idea.

Now what am I implying? I'm pretty this dream taught me that horses don't exist. It's a little bit crazy, I know, but have you ever seen one in real life? I doubt it.

How to dodge the draft

2009-11-09T07:30:00.000-08:00

This post might be a bit illegal. Scratch that. This post is going to be sickwicked(I just channeled the 90's).

1. Have flat feet. Or, preferably, make yourself have flat feet. It's an incredibly painful process, but it's better than vietnam.
2. Be flamboyant during the interview. You know what I'm getting at. Recruiters hate flower patterns and the color pink.
3. Act like an idiot. Walk in with guns ablazing. Not shooting anyone, of course. I mean literally, set a gun on fire. They won't want somebody who knows the melting temperature of steel running around next to soldiers.
4. Demand a recount. Trust me. It worked for Gore, it can work for you. The only reason Gore didn't win that election were his girlish looks and clammy hands.
5. Run to Mexico. And I literally mean run. Hopefully, in some sort of Gumpesque turn of events, a news team will follow you and the military will have some mercy.

That's all I have, really. Hopefully the draft never comes, because you probably won't make it away from it. Seriously.

Stalemate.

2009-11-09T07:24:00.000-08:00

It appears that I've come to a standstill. I think I may have run out of things to talk about, which is going to be an issue. It means that I'm going to have to start making things up.

It won't be hard though. Making things up is an easy process when you know what your basis is for it. It's like writing a children's book. They're not really trying when they write those things anyway. Half of writing a children's book is putting googly eyes on an inanimate object. "Hey kids, I'm soap!". Kids love the googly eyes. God knows why. Googly eyes scare the heck out of me. They bobble around and all of that. And how on earth did that bar of soap get legs and arms? It's like some sort of Ivory anomaly from a laboratory accident in the factory.

I'm really not sure where I'm going with this. I think the basic idea is that I'm going to start completely improvising these posts, and that children's books happen to be a phobia of mine. Yea, that about sums it up.

Blogging

2009-11-04T08:09:00.001-08:00

This blog is good for me. I think a lot, and I need a place to source it to. For some reason my brain goes to the difficult emotions. It's the concepts of them that get me. I like to know how things work, why they do what they do. Why people act one way, and why we tend to always err on one side of emotion.

It'd be pretty great if there were a stomach pump for my brain. A brain pump is probably the correct term. Something that would stop me from thinking. I need that occasionally. It's an act of congress to get me to hit the off switch on my head. Fun isn't as fun when it's analyzed as much as I tend to do it. I find myself taking a situation that I'm supposed to enjoy and mutilating it with thought and emotion.

I hate it, sort of. But thinking a lot helps me too. I can problem solve like no man's business. That doesn't mean I enjoy it, though. But I can do it. I can stretch my brain better than most, at the price of social awkwardness and perpetual boredom. I'm not sure if I would trade, though. I think it's a balance, though. One is not better than the other. Both have pluses, and minuses, and that separation makes us.

Greed

2009-11-04T07:59:00.001-08:00

Greed is the root of most evil. This post is that sentence, but in typical fashion I'm going to elaborate on this more than necessary. Read if you're bored, I suppose.

Greed is clocklike. People are the gears, and money the fuel that allows it to continue moving. I don't think that money is the basis of greed, though. I think it's selfishness. Selfishness drives corruption. Makes it obvious. Pushes it to a higher level than possible on it's own. Selfishness is a vehicle, a source of mobility for corruption to spread throughout.

Compassion is easily trumped by selfishness. Frankly, it's much easier to be selfish. It's easier to only care about yourself, easier to not give. It doesn't hurt us much, either. And it is often very difficult to feel someone's pain. It's almost a gift, born into those who can handle it and wretched from the hands of those who won't be able to weather the storm that is compassion.

It's hard for me sometimes. My greatest ability is shrugging bad situations off. I can grit my teeth and just get through it. So it's hard for me to be compassionate to other people when I haven't experienced what they haven't.

This got way off topic. My bad. It's just something that I've been thinking about lately.

The Onion

2009-11-04T07:33:00.000-08:00

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28151

I despise The Onion, but in a good way. The Onion, despite being a joke news site, makes me think all too often. Like the one I linked too above. It was a news article, written respectfully after the September 11th attacks. Read it for yourself. It's works your mind a bit.

I like how it talks about the relation between the religions for at least one rule. In fact, here's the quote that really says it: "Can't you people see? What are you, morons? There are a ton of different religious traditions out there, and different cultures worship Me in different ways. But the basic message is always the same: Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Shintoism... every religious belief system under the sun, they all say you're supposed to love your neighbors, folks! It's not that hard a concept to grasp."

The truth of that made me laugh a little bit, actually. We all borrow from the same mentality. There is no place on earth that commends people for running from battle or from stealing from your neighbor. Everyone follows some law, some unwritten rule set that is ingrained within us. It separates us from being merely lifeless vessels. Imagine the world where with no conscience, without guilt, without compassion. It would be, in simple terms, a trainwreck.

We are all bound by one presiding notion. A figurative book of precedents.

College

2009-11-04T07:24:00.000-08:00

I almost didn't go to college this year. I only have money for one semester right now. I had trouble seeing the point of going if I could only go for half of a year. It didn't make sense to me. People kept telling me that college was easy, though, and that I would just be prolonging my suffering if I decided to avoid it for this year.

I didn't think it was a great idea to come. But the people around me(my brother, my parents) practically made me come. And it ended up being worth it. I've actually learned a lot so far. I've learned how to interact, and how not to write like a fool, and some math thrown in there too. And I'm glad that I learned that college is easy. Really, really easy. I mean, come on. It shouldn't be this easy. I think if I had started late, it would have been a much more difficult transition for me then when I chose to start now.

It was probably a bit important for me to grow up, too. I'm younger than most of the people here, and I need that push to be grown up.

Nouns and adjectives

2009-11-02T08:11:00.001-08:00

The word "Christian" is a great noun but a terrible adjective. Or that is what Rob Bell says. And I agree. I think too often people get offended when others say something bad against something labeled as Christian. I, for example, hate Casting Crowns. A lot. They are horrendous. But anytime I say that in front of another Christian, they get offended. Christian music can be uninspired, or just plain not good. And it is okay not to like something because of that, even if they are Christian.

The label doesn't really count. But social norms make it out that way. And that prevents us from truly portraying our feelings. I don't have to like a pastors sermons just because he is a pastor. If it sucks, it sucks. Plain and simple. I don't have to like the way a Church does something just because it is a church. It's okay not to, because it all falls into the same category. Everything has the ability to bad. Or boring. Or any combination. And just because it's labeled as something does not mean that the label is true.

Wasting time

2009-11-02T08:01:00.000-08:00

Everybody has something that they use to pass the time. I'm not an arts and crafts person, or much of a story reader(theology isn't bad, though). Reddit.com has been taking up entirely too much of my time, though. It's a social news site. Basically, people post links and they are voted on whether or not they are good. It's addictive. Seriously. Like, really addictive. It has way too many interesting things on there.

Facebook, too. People need to stop being interesting. In fact, I really don't think they are. I think it's the boredom that makes them interesting. You know that phrase "To the hungry even the bitter tastes sweet"? Yea. That's what Facebook is, at least for me. I'm just bored, so the fact that you just woke up and had a bowl of Lucky Charms is stunning and fascinating. It's like cold fusion just happened right in front of me. Now, if I was on Facebook at Disney World, I doubt it would be that interesting. Actually, that's not a fair comparison. It's Disney World, which is too good to compare. Facebook at Six Flags. Yea. That's good. Being on Facebook at six flags wouldn't be nearly as great as when it's six in the morning and I haven't gone to bed yet.

Human nature desires to be constantly entertained. And most of the time, we are. In fact, I think we are a bit desensitized to entertainment. People in the 1800's were entertained when the milk man came around, but we can shrug off a guy breathing fire. I am the culprit, too. So I'm slowly trying to transition out of being so used to having fun. I need to do a bit of work.

Understanding love

2009-11-02T07:52:00.000-08:00

Or, how I learned to stop worrying and love. Yes, that's a science fiction joke. No, I won't apologize.

Love is such a difficult concept. There are so many facets to it. It has bits and pieces to its bits and pieces. And what am I trying to do is make a concept of love. See, how I understand things are through concepts. Things must be systematic. Everything has a pattern.

But is it possible to conceptualize love? Can I take a feeling and make it into words? That's where it becomes difficult. Because love is an essence. I think. And writing an essence on paper is like starting a fire in water. You won't even get a spark.

Which raises some issues. Why? Because how do I know how to love if I don't know what love is? All I have gathered so far is that no one knows until they know. And I suppose at some point I will find out. My best guess is that love is a waiting game. We'll never get to it by trying. We have to let love awaken when it makes the choice.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-02T07:40:00.000-08:00

You know what I hate? When stores start putting out decorations for Christmas before Thanksgiving is over. I hate it. It ruins the spirit for me. And the spirit of Christmas is something that always counted for me. It's a good feeling. They feeling of relaxation and frigid temperatures. It literally warms my heart, and it is delightful, but only in the right time frame. I want Christmas to be when Christmas is, if that makes any sense.

Consumerism ruins Christmas. And why? Because it's about giving. And yea, that is the most cliche thing that you've ever heard, I know. But it is the truth. And I want it to stay that way. It makes me afraid when companies try so hard to sell Christmas. I don't want that.

I titled this Thanksgiving, and yea, most of it has been about Christmas, but the point of Thanksgiving still stands. Because I want Thanksgiving to have his keep, and Christmas too.

Food.

2009-11-02T07:29:00.000-08:00

I don't mind fast food. It's not great, but it's not bad. I think the issue that I have with fast food is that some places do one thing great, and make a vomitous display of another. Take for example, Burger King and McDonalds. McDonald's destroys the market when it comes to fries. They smell good when you're taking them out of the bag, and have perfect seasoning on them. They're never reheated, and are always hot out of the bag. That's is what constitutes a good fry.

Burger King fails at fries. Badly. They smell like trash in an ashtray. They're never salted; it's like Burger King is undergoing histories only salt famine. And every single time they are served to me, you can tell that they are reheated in some sort of industrial microwave or something gargantuan that pumps out radiation like one. It's awful.

McDonald's, though, cannot make a burger. They can make a fake-tasting burger well, though. They have burgers that are almost plasticy in taste. The ketchup and mustard are a "meh" at best. The whole thing tastes like melted down toys. Burger King, on the other hand, can make a burger(as far as fast food goes, that is.) This burger is typically not made of junkyard parts and wooden shoes. They put the right mix of lettuce, tomato and onion, and don't skimp on the ketchup and mustard. They put it together fairly well, too. Not like the trash heap that McDonald's throws at you.

That is the name of the game, though. Be good at one thing, and they won't stop buying because of the rest.

Rob Bell

2009-10-28T07:43:00.001-07:00

Rob Bell is a genius. I read his book Velvet Elvis recently. It talks about a lot of things. One of the most interesting involves a brick wall and a trampoline. Yea. Two really separate things. The basic idea is, though, that we as Christians should have faith like a trampoline. A trampoline has springs. Now, these springs help us jump. These springs are like our beliefs. The thing is, if we lose one of these springs, the entire trampoline doesn't fall down. If one of our beliefs fall out of place, say, Mary is undoubtedly found to not be a virgin when she birthed Jesus, we still are able to jump on the trampoline. It doesn't stop us from being Christians. Jesus is still Jesus.

What we shouldn't be, though, is a brick wall. If one brick falls out, the entire brick wall falls down. And, to add to that, we often find ourselves defending a brick wall. I doubt you've ever heard of someone defending a trampoline. In fact, you would often find people with a trampoline inviting people to jump with them.

This is just a short part of an amazing book. If you haven't read it, read it now, even if you are not religious. I promise you will get something out of it.

Fathomless

2009-10-28T07:35:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day. We were having a conversation about normal topics, small talk and the like. It slowly began to transition into being about God, which happens a lot for some reason. I laugh sometimes when we do it, because we both acknowledge that we really don't know anything about Him(Him is subjective. Actually, He isn't a He. He's not even an It. I think.). We can take a few guesses, but that is all they are, guesses.

It's kind of cool, actually. My friend started talking about how we don't understand God, but in a way it's awesome not to. And he was right, I don't want a God that I can fathom. There are some lyrics by a band called As Cities Burn that say, "Is your God really God? Is my God really God? I think our God isn't God, if he fits inside our heads." I don't want a God I can understand, that I can see through and define in my terms because my terms aren't perfect. My terms are infected. With the world, or whatever cliche you choose to say it. It's amazing to me that God has no definition.

Ten-year plan

2009-10-28T07:26:00.000-07:00

I think I have a problem. It could be bad, too. Really bad. That is, I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. I don't know what I want to do. At all. Not even a little bit. I haven't seen anything that interests me that much yet. That said, I do have a major that I will fall back on. It's Information Systems. I hardly even know what that is, but I suppose I will be doing it if nothing else comes into my life.

I really have never known what I wanted to do. I don't know where that stems from, either. I play music, and I know how to use a computer better than the average person, but I really don't want to do those things everyday. So right now,

I have no career interests.

Or a plan.

And I'm okay with that. I understand that there are a lot of things that I don't know. And I probably won't ever get to know them. And for some reason, I doubt I'd ever want to know. It's the mystery that keeps those things alive.

Teachers

2009-10-26T07:34:00.000-07:00

I was in a small high school. Our class was always the same people, every time. We weren't always the best class. I'm pretty sure on at least two occasions, we made a teacher quit. One, who we'll call Mrs. Smith, tried everything to stop us. She separated us, and even one time brought a recorder to class to show us how bad we were being. We thought the recording was funny. She quit as soon as was possible. I'm not surprised. We were kind of jerks.

The next one we will call Mrs. Johnson. This one was worse. I don't think she got in five minutes of teaching everyday because of how often she had to tell us to be quiet. One of us counted how many times she did it in one day. The number was 227. I'm pretty sure we drove her crazy. I remember hearing from one of her other classes that she yelled at them, "Shut the mouth up!" On another occasion she yelled "Stop shaking the bed!" I have no idea why. I think we may have taken her insanity to a new level at that point. I remember on one test she gave us a question that the book said could be answered either "salt" or "brine". Most of us put salt, and she said the answer was brine. She marked us wrong, and we began chanting "salt!" and banging on the desks. We ended up getting the points, but not in a good way.

Yea, we were a bad class. But I think we turned out okay.

Halloween

2009-10-26T07:24:00.000-07:00

Halloween has always been a really cool time of the year for me. I like how everyone tries to set the mood of something mysterious happening. I enjoy the movies that come on TV, no matter how stupid they are. I remember as a kid that I only ever went trick or treating one or two times. My parents thought that it would be safer if I attended the Halloween event they had at my church. I didn't mind. It was the coolest. They had NES, and that really cool blowup wall with the velcro on it. They also had a jail that allowed us to send a person of our choice into for a small sum of money. It was good fun trapping my friends in there for a few minutes.

I remember everyone wearing costumes. One of my friends took the time to make a Spongebob costume. He got first place in the costume contest. It was actually pretty great, but took far to much effort. I never had great costumes, though. I didn't care enough. Although I'm pretty sure I was dressed as an M & M by my parents at one point.

Halloween has always had an atmosphere to it, you know? That kind of cool, spooky feeling that comes with it. I've always enjoyed that.

Becoming a man

2009-10-21T07:32:00.000-07:00

I believe it is cosmic tradition that the day a Catania graduates, he becomes a man. My brother had a particularly unsettling way of becoming a man. My mom's friends cat had to be put down. It was very sad, and the worst part was, he had to bury it in her backyard. He said it is much harder then you would think, burying a cat. Something that just had life, and then was lifeless so soon. But it taught him something, and that day he became a man. I, on the day of graduation, was working for my church because I desperately needed a job. I was under the impression that I was going to be running an internet line from one building to another, but they stuck me outside doing yard work instead. That would have been okay, provided I had any idea what I was doing with the edger they gave me, not to mention the weed whacker. My boss was attempting to show me how to start the edger, but his body was blocking what he was doing. I walked around to see, and right as I did, he started the edger. It hit me, and made me jump back. The blade cut up and down the side of my knee, leaving me bloody and severely woozy. I remember being very close to passing out. I think it was due to my blood sugar. They gave me a peppermint and everything cleared up. I looked down. The gashes were huge. And that was when I became a man. Enduring all of that pain, and the stitches after, and still walking that night.

And honestly, my dad is much more man than both of us. I don't want to know what he had to do on his graduation day to get there.

Bad Influence

2009-10-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

I was the smarter one of my group of friends. Not necessarily in terms of books, but in the ratio of who do stupid things in comparison to smart things, I was the winner. I had a friend named Ryan. Ryan is a perfectly mature person right now, and is typically very smart. But that was not the case in seventh grade. Ryan had just come from homeschooling, and he was clay that was unmolded, so naturally we molded him into someone we could get a few cheap laughs from. I remember on his first day we told him to burp into the intercom. And he did it. I thought our English teacher was going to blow a valve. She turned bright, BRIGHT red. She may have had a mini-stroke, I kid you not. And on another occasion, we told him that he should lock the deadbolt on the door while the teacher was out. And he did it. Same teacher, too. I'm pretty sure her heart stopped for the 15 minutes she yelled at us. Which, in retrospect, is pretty cool. He actually didn't get in trouble for that one. He fessed up after class and she was totally okay with it, and I've no idea why, that was a very atypical performance of mercy from her.

So, yea. We were bad people. But I think, accidentally, we taught Ryan how to grow up. And he did. He's one of my better friends now, and I think that through all of it, it did make us better people and better friends.

Bravery

2009-10-19T07:27:00.000-07:00

Bravery isn't one thing. Bravery is a mixture. A mixture of confidence, fearlessness, and fortitude. Bravery is the ability to face fear, or danger, or pain without fret. It is being apart of a dangerous situation and having no worries. I believe bravery stems from that which you know is right. Bravery for the sake of bravery is not bravery at all; it is foolishness. To define something as brave it must be done with a motive of faith in something. The motive must be good, and wholesome, and without fault.

There is a fine line between bravery and stupidity, though. One will get you killed. The other has a slightly less chance of that. Stupidity usually comes from the misguided motive, one that is not wholesome, or good, and has much fault. This is what separates the two abstracts. Don't get me wrong, now. You can be stupid and brave. You would just have to try very hard at it. That would require two motives, one foolish, and one true. I believe the word for that is "quixotic", a word that stems from Don Quixote.

Cold weather

2009-10-17T19:09:00.001-07:00

Cold weather is one word: stunning. It has a different stigma for me then hot weather does. Hot weather makes me feel dehydrated, and tired, and reminds me of all the nothing that I do during the summer. And I have to wear shorts. I really don't like that. You wanna know why? Because shorts are for chumps. You wanna know why? Because you pay the same price for jeans that you do for shorts, and you get half of what you should be. You're not getting your full pants value!

Anyway, back to cold weather. Cold weather is awesome because you physically cannot be tired when you are in it. It's like a caffeine punch to the face. And it's awesome, and in a way beautiful. It's like the frigid exterior wants you to be as hyped up as it is. Maybe cold has some sort of empyrean balance it must keep to keep the world moving. But who am I to question colds motives? It might have none at all. But I like to think otherwise.

I don't know. There is just something about cold that gives me a rush. The cold feeling on my nose, and the arctic breath in my lungs. Cold constantly finds itself to be almost whimsical day after day for me. Cold is the best part of the year, and I doubt I would trade it for anything.

Ranting

2009-10-17T18:58:00.000-07:00

I think this blog is going to become more and more for my ranting. I've had a few stories here and there, but I haven't had a really good rant. There's something about just getting angry at what you are feeling and just in general using your brain to explode about an issue. I don't care if it's politics or just something I find delightfully inane, I just need a way to express pure and unadulterated feelings of absolute painful, passion-filled, raw feelings.

Politics would probably do me good. I've always been quite interested in what is going with our government, whether it be Obama saying derogatory(read: awesome) things about Kanye West, or the health care bill he wants to pass. It's actually kind of fun to be involved in the whole thing, like we're supposed to as Americans. It makes me happy, which will probably be quickly destroyed by the ranting I'm going to do about it. I wouldn't mind talking about world issues, either. Darfur is messed up, man. And if you've heard about Invisible Children, that's an amazing charity for such a sick and twisted situation. If you haven't heard of it, it's a charity trying to help children who are being enlisted into armies to aid in the genocide. Pretty wrong.

Cars.

2009-10-14T07:26:00.000-07:00

My car is something that one can only describe as a pariah. It has no place in society. In fact, I believe it should be banished to the pits of hell. It is a 1994 Saturn SL. I inherited it from my father after he got a new car. The first thing I noticed when I got it was that it was broken. Well, not necessarily broken, but it did have a clutch. I think that's close enough. This car has taken a lot of punishment, especially from me trying to learn how to drive the thing. It's terrible on the freeway. People aren't happy being behind me when I'm driving 50 MPH trying to get to 55, a feat that takes all to long. The doors also neglect to do one thing: keep out water. I remember one day sitting down in my car to find the seat completely wet, and subsequently my pants. That's certainly not the best feeling in the world. The car can't help but stick going into third, but it has no fault in the situation. That would be like blaming a senior citizen because he walks slowly. So, yea, my car is a junker. And I don't really like it all that much. But it serves me well. And I'm blessed to have it. Because despite the fact that it gives me trouble, I know that people who don't have cars are doing much worse than I am right now. And hey, who's to say that this car won't build character? It's the least it could do.

Questions about my possible profession

2009-10-12T07:24:00.001-07:00

I'd want to know how much money I would make. Knowing if I will be able to support my kids and my family, and know if I will be able to put food on the table. I'd also want to know the work conditions. Is it a short tempered workplace? Or is it rather calm? Is it enjoyable? I want to know about things concerning my overall growth in that field, and if it's a job I will want to have ten years from my start of working there. Are there many benefits? Will I get good health care or that terrible kind that makes you pay more than half? Is it stressful? If so, is it worth the stress to work there anyway? Why is it worth it? Is management considerably smart or considerably stupid? Is it possible to get this job with just a bachelor's degree in my field? Or should I pursue more college classes after four years? Overall, I believe that these are some of the more important questions to ask going into my field.

Building a repetoire

2009-10-07T08:21:00.000-07:00

I want to build a repertoire of something. I'm not sure what it will be yet. It could be skills. I wouldn't mind having the ability to hammer a nail without breaking a finger, or being able to skydive. I wouldn't mind that skill that prevents me from being socially awkward, either. Or the ability to prove a point no matter how wrong I am. I suppose that's more of a superpower, really, but a skill is a skill. I'd like to build a repertoire of adventures. It'd be enjoyable to go to Europe, or the Congo. Or the rainforest, but I'm afraid of those devilish piranhas that are swimming around the amazon. I wouldn't mind getting some experience from these trips. I feel too young and immature to truly get anything accomplished, and I want to learn to be better at getting things done. It would be a massive improvement over what I do know, which is close to nothing. I want to get out, and explore, and help people. I think that's why I think being an EMT would be so interesting. You would get to meet so many people(granted, injured people) from different places, and you have the chance to save their lives. I think that's a beautiful thing, and something I truly desire.

Piano

2009-10-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

I recently started learning piano. It's only been a month. I'm not very good, but I am improving. I'm enjoying it because employs all parts of my mind. I have to think every time I change chords. I have to think whenever I play a scale. Piano stretches the mind. Piano is also good therapy. I can play piano for hours at a time and have no worries. It gives me something to pour myself into, and allows me to learn and recognize new patterns and understand music more. It feeds a hunger within me to be artistic. Piano ultimately calms the heart and mind, and it is an amazing feeling when it does. The wonderful thing about piano is that even simple chords, played with a simple rhythm can be made into something beautiful. Piano makes no ultimatum; if one note is rejected, another can be played. Piano can take notes that were formerly black and white for me and turn them into something colorful, or give them new feeling. Piano can set a mood, too. Go watch a movie with a sad part accompanied by a song in the background. Now watch it again without. Music makes emotion, and piano does it ten times as well as the other instruments. Sometimes it is as if the piano has a mind of its own, knowing when to play the right notes to make the perfect moment.

Thesaurus

2009-10-07T07:58:00.000-07:00

I desperately need to expand my vocabulary. I find myself so often using the same trite expressions over and over again. In my senior year, I started all of the conclusions of my papers with "all in all, blah blah". Sadly, I think my attempts to become less cliche are making me significantly more cliche. Clicheness(I'm aware that this is not a word) is like radiation. It only takes a little bit to make you sick, or in this case affect the way you make sentences. Sadly, I've been heavily radiated. I quite possibly could be The Cliche Hulk. Are cliches a necessary evil(see, there it is again!)? No, I don't think so. I think that when our brains(yes, OUR brains) turn off is when we revert to these devilish expressions, which is why we so often find our papers and conversations filled with these phrases. I, for one, am taking a stand to keep my brain with the "on" flip switched in the right direction as much as possible. Hopefully this will help me improve, and hopefully I don't have this whole thing backwards.

Cornerstone of Business

2009-09-30T07:27:00.001-07:00

My business teacher is a little bit crazy. In a good way. Sort of. He's going to make us start our own "business". We have to come up with a business plan, and find what kind of business company that we want to make. Our group is a bit lacking in the creative department, so this isn't going so well for us. We also had Company/Union negotiations yesterday. We had to negotiate on business aspects like wages, vacation, retirement, insurance, and job security. Our group was the union. It was kind on fun with everyone vying for a good contractual agreement. I like the fact that half of cornerstone of business is him just telling us stories or goofing off, and somehow relating them to what we're learning at the time. We've learned about business ethics and management skills, with time enough for him to explain to us what sesame street we're like if none of them had a moral code. The class is really laid back, but I'm actually learning about business. I wouldn't all classes being like this, but you can't win everything.

Wikipedia is ridiculous.

2009-09-30T07:18:00.000-07:00

I love Wikipedia. I'm pretty sure three-fourths of what I have learned in my entire life has come from there. I always like to click the "random page" button, and go from there. It will start me on something like "Chewbacca" and I'll end up on that one wikipedia page where it shows you how you can make an entire sentence out of the word "buffalo". That's the thing with wikipedia. It's not all serious subjects. For example, the page explaining the "High Five". It has hilarious picture examples on how to do the "too slow" high five. Or the article on circle strafing in video games. That one even has a GIF of how to circle strafe. Me and a friend tried to do six degrees of Kevin Bacon on there, but with Hitler instead. It's much easier then you'd think. Just find any country involved in any world war and go from there. Apparently finding Kevin Bacon is much harder. I haven't tried. I don't have the mental fortitude from something like that. I like the fact that I can pull up any sports teams history on there and read about them. It turns out that the Green Bay Packers are not owned by one person, but rather owned by a conglomerate of people. It's the only team in the NFL that isn't owned by just one person. Also, the Seattle Sonics are gone. They got replaced by the Oklahoma City Thunder. It doesn't really matter, because they both suck, but still. I'm just afraid to see what happens when wikipedia becomes sentient. I don't want any skynet business.

Halloween

2009-09-28T07:22:00.000-07:00

From the first year I was in my neighborhood, me and my neighbors had a yearly tradition on halloween. Most people would dress up and go getting candy, dressed up in scary attire to see who can get the biggest handful of candy from the person who was giving it away. We were different. Every year, one of us would try to scare the people that came to the door. We came up with many creative ways to do it. My favorite one was the fake scarecrow. One of us would put on a hoodie and jeans. We'd basically try to cover all parts of our bodies that could be shown. Then we'd stuff straw into the pants legs and hoodie arms, and into the hood of the hoodie so our faces couldn't be seen. We'd lay there next to the door completely still, until someone came by. We would then jump at them, sometimes silent, and sometimes with a loud banshee yell for the added effect. You would be surprised at the number of people we scared. We even scared the people that were leading the children from house to house. This may not sound creative, but for a group of ten year olds this was one of the most creative things we'd thought of in our entire life.

Meet Joe Blog

2009-09-21T07:34:00.000-07:00

Meet Joe Blog is an explanation of bloggings effects on today's culture. Blogging has shown that it can have a huge effect on politics, through which it exposes scandals and reveals information that news channels are too politically correct to reveal. One blogger, Matt Drudge, helped in the exposure of Bill Clinton's affair. Around 2002, bloggers began to offer genuine arguments. Blogs also help expose things that the government doesn't want to be seen. Russ Kick posted pictures of the coffins of soldiers, which quickly made it's way to mainstream news stations. Blogging has the unusual ability of infecting people, and making them want to tell others about news stories. The fact that blogging is free helps, too. There are no requirements to start blogging except to know how to use the internet. It is the voice of the people, too. It isn't dumbed down by producers, it's pure thought in its rawest form. Some soldiers even blog from countries who we are in war with. Not all blogs are politics, though. Some blogs have to do with movies, video games, programming, or a little bit of both. Blogs cover a wide variety of subjects. Blogging has it's bad sides, too. It can make a rumor into a seemingly true story. For example, the allegations that John Kerry was having an affair with one of his interns. Blogging is a very easy way to reach out to people, and ask for help, or tell what you think, or simply just make conversation.

Vacation

2009-09-21T07:20:00.001-07:00

In 2007, the week before my Junior year of school, our youth group went on a trip to Indianapolis to compete in a competition called Fine Arts. Indianapolis is an interesting place. I've been in Montgomery most of my life so I'm used to being able to drive ten minutes to get anywhere. This city was much bigger, and had much more life than home did. We went to the Colts stadium for the competition, which was absolutely huge. There were probably over 20000 people there and no matter where you went the hallways were packed. We made our way around the city, going to the Hard Rock Cafe and the Rainforest Cafe. The mall there was literally across the street from the stadium, so whenever we had time between competing we could just go over there and walk around. Indianapolis was an amazing trip because it was a way to get out of the house and the comforts of home for a week, which was something I didn't get to do very often. I remember we had to stop at a terrible hotel on the way up there, and the rooms smelt of smoke and oranges, and the front desk ran out of towels and had to give us floor mats instead, but we didn't care. It was the liberation from our parents that mattered, and the freedom we gained there was like gold to us. In one week, we'd be back at home, gearing up for a new school year.

Advice

2009-09-16T07:40:00.000-07:00

Some would say that the best advice anyone can give a young man is "Don't put twinkies on your pizza." While that is some of the most sound advice that I've heard, I believe that there is a much more deep piece of advice to be given. I had just started learning to play bass so I could play in the worship team at church. I was scared out of my mind to play there. There were a lot of people to hear me mess up and play the wrong notes, or get the wrong rhythym. I was so scared to get up there. When I was as scared as I possibly could be, they decided to put me on stage. What they told me before I got on was "Don't be afraid to fail." That struck a huge chord with me(pun wildly intended). I was a young lad, who didn't know much, and I most certainly didn't think of things this way. I never quite realized for myself that failure is actually the stepping stone for success. And hear me out, I failed like crazy that first time. I was sweating, my hands were all slippery, and I played probably all the wrong notes. But it didn't matter. I knew that I would learn eventually, to find the right rhythym, to get in sync with the rest of the band, and I did. I became a much better bass player because I allowed myself to mess up to make myself better. It takes starting from the bottom to get any higher.

Injury

2009-09-14T07:29:00.001-07:00

I've had a pretty painful injury before, and it's probably my only interesting story. I was doing some menial tasks at my church for minimum wage. We changed light bulbs, swept, overall made sure that things were in order for the service the next Sunday. We were outside, mowing the grass near the curb and generally cleaning up the area around there. I was edging for the first time in my life when it shut off. I had no idea how to turn this godless machine on, so I went and asked my boss what I was supposed to do. He began showing me, but his body was blocking what it was doing. I moved around the front of the edger at the exact moment he started it. When it hit me, I jumped. It felt like the blades had just hit me very hard, but not broken through the skin. I looked down to see blood gushing out of my leg and saw my boss run to call an ambulance. I remember sitting down next to the church building, barely concious. One of the friendly janitor ladies ran up to me and gave me a peppermint, which I suppose brought my blood sugar back to normal and brought back to a state of almost perfect clarity. I remember seeing the ambulance pull up, and having the paramedic wrap my leg with gauze. I was distraught when he told me I had to get stitches. I'd never had them before. I clearly remember being driven to the hospital by my mother, and having to show the person at the window that I was bleeding to make her let us go to the back. A few physician's assistants helped me out, one cleaning my wound and the other setting me up to be stitched. The doctor came by with a needle and began pricking each wound. It didn't really hurt. I hadn't felt pain after the initial contact. He stitched the wounds. It was almost beautiful how he moved the metal whatever that he had in his hand to make the stitches close the wound. He told me to take care of myself and sent me on my way. I graduated that same night.

Things I might never do. Maybe.

2009-09-02T07:27:00.000-07:00

I'll probably won't have a fancy dinner on Mt. Everest. Bear Grylls did, though. Because he's crazy. I doubt I'll have more then 3 kids. Names get confusing around there. I don't think I'll ever exchange my heart for that of a lion's. Unless you mean metaphorically. I will probably not work as an accountant. Too much brain work. Not that I mind math. I don't think I'll ever be in a cage fight, although that would be pretty awesome. I probably won't ever have a jerry curl. I don't think I'll be addicted to gambling. I will probably never read the book Great Expectations backwards. Charles Dickens just isn't my type of writer. I don't think I will be a doctor. I don't think I'll ever go on one of those beer cruises that have unlimited alcohol. You know those like 80oz steaks? I don't think I'll ever eat an entire one. I don't think I will have a job in the chemistry department. I probably won't ever sell vacuums door to door, but I would totally wear a bowtie if I did. I don't think I will ever shake hands with Peewee Herman, or ever want to for that matter. I will never break the sound barrier. I probably won't be the major cause of declining agriculture in the next 100 years. I don't think I will ever sumo wrestle. Or get into a slap fight with a failed vice presidential candidate. Or be caught in quicksand. I doubt I will have to maneuver myself through the Amazonian rainforest. Or slander Madonna for quick cash. I will probably never invent the cotton gin. I won't aid the Swedes in taking over Egypt.

A Description

2009-08-31T07:51:00.000-07:00

I remember getting my first bass when I was a young lad. It's a really exciting moment to get something new, something foreign to what you know like a new instrument. It was beautiful. Or that's what I believed. Right out of the box it had the smell of polish. It was colored a shade of sky blue, with two knobs on the front, one for volume, the other for tone. The strings ran across the dark colored pickups, with the pickups being characterized by the tiny silver point of metal that absorbs the noise made by the vibrating strongs. The fretboard was a dark cherry color. Every fret was made evident by the metal separators that give them their own sound. The head of the guitar had four knobs, one for each string used for tuning. The bright silver strings had a red coil that ran around the knobs. The top part of the body was longer then the bottom. It stuck out for the sole purpose of holding the strap. Or just to look awesome. The bass lacked imperfection. Everything on it was pristinely made, with no peril of doubt. The strings made a low, soft, and jazzy tone when plucked. The noise was so smooth that I'm almost certain it could make a grown man cry. Don't get me wrong, this bass wasn't even close to top of the line, but that was no matter. At the age of ten, anything new is something to behold with the highest honor.

Ugh, High School

2009-08-26T07:46:00.000-07:00

If I were in charge of my high school the first facet I would change would be the discipline. It wasn't that there was too much, but rather too little. I found them punishing for petty things and letting the bigger things slide(especially for athletes). I just want some balance between the leniency and strictness. I wouldn't mind a little more emphasis on learning, either. I had way too many free days in classes like history and math where I want to learn something that I could genuinely use in real life rather then just be sitting there doing nothing. High school now really feels pointless to me because of the lack of education that I received during my career. Our high school also had a very stifled art department. It'd be awesome to see an art lab be installed in the school somewhere. I'm pretty sure all we have right now is a few kinds of paint, some elements for building a mosaic, and some colored pencils. I'd love to have a transition over to doing ceramics and pottery and other things like that but there is very little to work with. A lacking art department really stifles the creativity of the students and doesn't allow them to think freely like a teenager should be in high school. High school is all about growing up, and it's prevented entirely often in schools. I think overall I'd just like to see more structure, and more people that genuinely care about the education of students rather then just getting a paycheck.

I remember

2009-08-26T07:31:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was a kid...I lived on Maxwell Air Force Base. There was a playground literally right behind my house. Most kids dream of that. Every single day, me and my brother and friends would go out there and play on it for hours. Everyone at Maxwell was sort of bound by the same thing. Everyone there was military or had military parents and were raised the same sort of way. I remember being homeschooled there. It's hard being homeschooled and being social. They don't exactly go hand in hand. I was kind of alienated from the whole friends away from the neighborhood thing, except for at church, but that hardly counted. I wish I had more of an opportunity to outsource as a kid, you know? Make new friends(or enemies), build relationships, all of that. New people don't exactly move in constantly at military bases, so we were stuck with the friends we had. I remember military life being simple. The grocery store was only a mile away, and we could literally walk to the hospital. The theatre was just down the road. Military bases were built for convenience. It was the sort of safe comfort that really made the military base what it was. It was the most tightknit community I've ever been part of, and I think that was the beauty of it.

Innonvation

2009-08-26T06:02:00.000-07:00

I like innovation. It's amazing to see throughout the years the improvements that we have made on simple concepts. Things like going from cooking over a fire to cooking in an oven. Or from the Pony Express to the e-mail. Even simple things are getting innovated. The Australians made a shower head that fills each drop of water with air, allowing for 30% conservation of water. I find it amazing to how different practices change. 30 years ago we were using lead paint to paint houses. I enjoy the fact that humans are trying to make things better for ourselves. It's our constant effort to become lazy, in a good way. Innovation also shows that humans are willing to take a risk. I mean, that's all that innovation really is. Creativity times risk. Innovation is important to society not only so we can live easier, and use less resources, and improve our lives, but to show that taking a chance can produce good results. I think that's an important part to life. Taking a chance. It's not something we do too often, and many times we miss out on the opportunity to do it.

Fox News

2009-08-21T13:04:00.001-07:00

Something on television has done something I can only describe as "breaking my mind". I was flipping through channels, searching for something to watch, when I stumbled upon a Fox News story about Michelle Obama. More precisely, the story was about the shorts that Michelle Obama wore to the Grand Canyon. Let me say that one more time. This is a news story, on actual television, about this woman's SHORTS. They kept posing the question of whether or not they were too short to wear in public. How is that news?! America has a 9 trillion dollars worth of debt and a everchanging healthcare reform going on and they talk about the first ladies fashion choices instead? This is probably why we don't get anything done. If we spent some more time not worrying about things like the soles on Obama's shoes or Joe Biden's wife's pantsuit then maybe we could get proactive for something else? For example, the healthcare bill is an enormous issue. People are getting all worked up about it, but I'm sure you'll find that a majority of people who are getting worked up haven't called their congressman and senators or done much at all besides complaining about it. I guess my main point is that we as a whole tend to focus on the things that don't count for our future and forget about the things that actually matter to us as citizens. If some of that brainpower was put in a different direction, I think that we could really make something of it.

Shaun of the Dead

2009-08-19T07:35:00.000-07:00

Simon Pegg is a genius, although I doubt you've heard his name. He is the creator of the British sitcom Spaced and movies such as Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead. Shaun of the Dead is a particular interesting take on the zombie movie genre. It is an amalgam of comedy and the living dead, and not to mention more than a handful of British charm. Shaun is a lowly technology store worker who finds himself caught in the middle of a zombie invasion. The movie really catches your attention because it doesn't follow the average storyline of a film about the undead. Instead of holing himself up inside his house or at a warehouse or a military base, his plan is to go to a pub and have a pint until it all blows over. On top of the unique story, the movie is laced with comedic value portrayed by down-to-earth characters. Ed, Shaun's flatmate, is a shining example of this. He is jobless, lazy, but suprisingly cheerful. He is the kind of person who makes everything a scapegoat for his own faults, but also wants everyone to be happy, which is shown in later scenes of the movie as he is making up stories trying to cheer Shaun up after Shaun's girlfriend, Liz, broke up with him. Shaun of the Dead makes for an interesting movie due to it's charm, and kindhearted nature. It's like a comedy movie caught in the apocalypse. I don't doubt that it is the first movie to actual capture peoples hearts while wildly bludgeoning the living dead all at the same time, which is what makes this movie stand out from any other in the horror and comedy genres.